Guen and Me: A Handmaiden's Tale

Free Lip Gloss Offer

2008-12-01T19:42:30Z

Found this link to get a free lip gloss...You just need to post about it on your blog!

http://www.expo-systems.co.uk/britney/sample2.swf

It's a yoyo gloss you wear at the hip...I'm going to give it to Autumn. I'll bet it will be all the rage with the kids!

daiseejane @ 2006-08-14T18:57:00

2006-08-14T22:58:27Z

Look out Dr. Ian...The Harvards are ready for some Fat Smashing!

daiseejane @ 2006-04-12T09:57:00

2006-04-12T13:57:57Z

Yay! We're free!

One more thing...

2006-01-12T04:16:31Z

Anyone know if there are any archery clubs/venues in the area??

Superstar!

2004-12-07T14:35:11Z

Last night at Jingle Jam, I was watching Bret Michaels during sound check and when he sang his current single, "All I Ever Needed", I jumped up and sang the Jessica Andrews part of the duet. I was just kinda joking around, but afterward, he turned and said, "That was awesome! Would you sing it with me in the show?". So I did. And it was really cool. It was "just what I needed" to make me smile yesterday.

Thought this was cute...

2004-10-20T17:15:35Z

...and I was curious:

Bow down! you are the Queen! whatever you say,
goes. You have a large dose of confidence but
dont let that get to your ego! Surrounded by
wealth and soaking in power, you are the face
that everyone knows and looks to for stability.
A true leader, you know right from wrong and
how to fix a tough situation. Long Live the
Queen!

What Renaissance Type Woman are you? (with pics)
brought to you by Quizilla

At least the sun is shining...

2004-10-01T15:28:06Z

It's finally Friday and I'll be leaving the office in about an hour. I'm a little sad because the rest of the gang is in Woodstock for Kid's Day and I'm at work. I should be there, but I can't be in two places at once. At least, not on this day. My family is coming to see the faire this weekend. Mom, Dad, four aunts, and uncle, and a cousin. It will be their first time at a Renaissance Faire and I'm anxious to see how they like it.

And, they are meeting B tonight. He's nervous. I don't think he has anything to worry about. As long as he respects me and treats me like a lady, my father won't hurt him. Haha! Dad saw his picture at the website and made some sort of comment like, "He looks like a big guy. If he raises a hand to my daughter...". I suddenly had visions of my dad getting together with Ironsides, Thumper in hand, ready for action. No worries. B does treat me like a lady and respects me more than any man I've ever known. With the exception of dad, of course. It's nice to be in love. More than nice. It's like a wish come true...Once upon a dream...

My allergies are acting up. I don't feel bad, just can't stop the runny nose and dry cough. Grrr. Not now! But I knew it would come. I gotten this same stupid allergy reaction this week for the last 7 or 8 years. I never dealt with allergies as a child. Now all of a sudden, boom. Clockwork. I hate it.

And of all these things, there is only one thing on my mind...Will I or won't I? I'm prepared...almost. I should be excited about seeing Brian, my family, friends, the show tomorrow...There's just that one thing that will hang in the air till it happens...if it happens. I just have to stop thinking about it and see where fate will take me next.

The Medieval Surreal Life...

2004-09-28T15:26:58Z

What an interesting weekend. It was my first faire as an actor. And it was surreal coming to the site on Friday to help with the Viking Encampment and seeing everything in The Shire come alive. It was a bit overwhelming, but the thought of playing in this medieval world the following morning was...oh boy. Name the emotion and I felt it. Everything from terrifying to euphoric. The passion this community has is infectious and I love it!

Saturday morning on the drive from Southbridge, I psyched myself up with the music of Brian Tyler’s "Timeline". It didn't really work, but I tried. “Gladiator” would have been better. I had so much nervous energy I thought I was going to burst. What was the day going to be like? Would patrons want to talk to me? Would the heat affect my performance at all? Thank goodness I was not the only one feeling all these new emotions. And with sweet words in my ear right before the gate, I was ready to go.

Overall, the first faire day went well, but I wasn't happy with my individual performance. I had several witty and powerful lines in my head for the last few weeks, ready at a moments notice to spout through a crowd of patrons, but when I tried to use them, I ended up stumbling all over my words and sounding like a huge idiot...So I let my princess do all the talking. Then of course I got into my whole "woe is me lonely handmaiden" state. I can't help it. Fawn brings Guenevere to life, but she also has the good grace of a built in audience. Every little girl wants to be Princess Guen. Nobody aspires to be a handmaiden. (Though one little girl thought I was Princess Fiona from Shrek. Apparently we share the same tailor...Though after some thought, I wonder if she meant cute Cameron Diaz Fiona, or Green Ogre Fiona...Hmmm...)

I decided to make a few adjustments the next day and take some earlier advice from Roger about making my own character memorable. (Remember the day we stood outside at Roselyn Park for hours after everyone left practice to discuss my “passion” and “flaw”??? Good times.) It's weird how interacting with other actors changes your character...On one hand, I'm the feisty gal that tries to rush the stage to attack Lamorek after his off color comment to Guen in the court show. But I also had some great bits with Ironsides that left me shaking in my shoes and on the ground in the fetal position. They kind of contradict each other, but I guess it's something I'll have to be aware of next weekend. I'm probably thinking about it too much. Rich liked my reaction to Guen’s big “The Point, Sir Knight…” speech in the court show when I agree with her in a loud “HA!” to Ironsides, then cower behind Aunt Elenor…I’ll probably keep that. And I guess having “known” Ironsides most of my life, I might be afraid of him. Afraid of one knight, hating another…It’s possible. On a side note, pillow jousting with Guen, then buddying up to attack Princess Nia rocked!

This weekend will be better, easier…And my family will be here. 8 are coming…Maybe 10. They’ve never been to a Ren Faire, so I’m really anxious to see their reactions to everything. I think they’ll have a good time. They are also looking forward to meeting B. Me, too. I’ll have to warn him that they are huggers. Haha! I’ve told them a lot about him, and though they were skeptical at first, I think they realize that this man is very special to me and someone that is going to be in my life for a very long time. Meeting the parents…It’s a crazy world we live in. It’s been one month today…One crazy month that feels like six amazing ones.

Thanks to Pope and Cardinal for pulling me onstage for “Poprah” last season. Thanks to the CT Ren Faire for casting me in this wonderful production. Thank the gods of every faith that delivered this gift of a man to my life.

If music is the food of love, play on...

2004-09-23T16:31:11Z

This morning I was sitting in the studio reading the paper when Faith Hill's "This Kiss" came up on the playlist. "This Kiss" is the song that popped into my head when we had our first kiss in a moonbeam. Of course I started grinning like an idiot and though I swore that I wouldn't talk about B to my Maine posse anymore, I couldn't help it. My funk seems to be over, it's a beautiful day, and I'm going to see the love of my life in 24 hours! Then something really spectacular happened...I had an intelligent conversation about B with Joe without any barbs or low blows! I told him about our big weekend with the little pumpkin and how strange but cool it will be to meet her. He actually said that I must be really special to Brian for him to introduce me to his daughter. It was a nice thing to say. I liked it.

The Manic seems to be back to normal. We had a good meeting about the new overtime regulations...Apparently I can't work any. Good, yes. But at the same time, doing the work of three people in one person's hours will be a challenge. (Needless to say my online time will be very limited starting next week.) I like to work at home because I don't have any distractions and can actually get work done. I'm too tired to fight it. And I'm fine not taking work home for a change. Go figure.

Oh, and did I mention that I was called to the front desk for a delivery...Flowers! But not just flowers...daisies. My favorite. (He's cute and pays attention!) I was so stunned and...it was so...no words. It was the sweetest thing. "One more day..." Pack your bags folks. We're taking a trip on the Love Boat! "Love, exciting and new...Come aboard, we're expecting you! The Love Boat...Soon we'll be making another run..."

Cheesy 80's moment. Where's Charo when you need her??

daiseejane @ 2004-09-22T12:44:00

2004-09-22T16:46:02Z

I'm feeling a little better. I have good friends that make me smile...Of course they are still in CT/MA, but I'll take it!

"One is the lonliest number..."

2004-09-22T15:33:16Z

I started telling JT that I wasn't going to post today because I didn't want anyone, (especially one person in particular), to worry about me because I'm sure it's just a funk. Not a cool groovin' Tower of Power funk, but an under a rock in the bottom of a maggot infested bog kind of funk. Call me crazy, but I feel like Gollum has led me half way through the dead marshes and skipped out on the bill leaving me to wash dishes for a group of unruly uruk-hai. Yuck. (I'm such a geek.)

It started yesterday when a good friend made a dig about my new relationship, one he knows bothers me, but won't stop. So I tell another good friend to try and get a little sympathy, but she more or less agrees with him and says she has a lot to say herself, just doesn't. What does that mean? I feel like I'm living two lives right now and neither one will meet the other. I have all these awesome exciting things happening in my life and I feel like I can't share them with anyone because they either don't understand or don't want to hear about them or are bitter or jealous. Maybe all those things...I don't know. So every weekend, I come home on the greatest high, then get crushed in a blur of everyday blah first thing Monday morning with no end in sight for 5 days. The thing that really ticks me off, is that I'm always the supportive one, the rock, the mom, the friend, the responsible one. I've always been the one to put aside my ego and the things I want/need to make sure my buds are okay and happy. Now I finally get a little taste of something amazing, and there's no one here to support me. "Here" as in Maine. I've decided that I won't tell them anything about faire or my new friends or B...it'll just be easier to keep it all to myself, as much as that sucks, and...Yeah. It does suck.

I love my new CT/MA family and it's really hard being away from a group of people who love each other unconditionally, accept each others flaws, and show concern, but don't judge. Knowing it's all coming to an end is really sad. Really.

Like Fawn yesterday, I guess I'm feeling a little lonely. I'm going to go to the gym today and run for awhile. Maybe cook something really great for dinner. Watch that new show "Lost" with Dominic Monaghan at 8...Go to bed early and hope I can sleep off the maggots and wake up in Rivendell...

Wish I was there, too.

I can see clearly now the rain is gone...

2004-09-20T14:49:00Z

As you all know, getting back into the Monday routine after faire weekends is a little rough, and I was a bit tired this morning. However, this has been an amazingly wonderful day! The Manic is suffering from an allergic reaction to some medication, (he's fine, but had a bad case of hives), and won't be in today, one of the girls from another morning show in the building brought in caramel apples, my syndicators sent me the weekly spin report hours early, AND I'm going to get out of here on time today...Whu-who!

Minions rock! We've got a great support system. I'm grateful for that. (PS Special thanks to Dan for covering the green room meeting so I'd have a few extra minutes with Brian before heading back to Maine. You are my brother always!)

Sweatshirts, toothbrushes, hot stew, eating ice cream with a fork, Etta James...You. Thanks.

Jumping on the Bandwagon...

2004-09-17T14:32:00Z

Band...The days of hiding fuzzy gloves and collectible cups inside our ugly hats, a million "Louie Louie"s, the drum line, marching, and the fact that I should have been drum major, but noooooo. Laurie Brandt got the gig even though she HATED marching band. I was so robbed...

1. Who are you?
2. Are we friends?
3. When and how did we meet?
4. Do you have a crush on me? or did you ever have a crush on me?
5. have we kissed??? If no, Would you kiss me?
6. Give me a nickname and explain why you picked it.
7. Describe me in one word.
8. What was your first impression?
9. Do you still think that way about me now?
10. What reminds you of me?
11. If you could give me anything what would it be?
12. How well do you know me?
13. When's the last time you saw me?
14. Ever wanted to tell me something but couldn't?
15. Are you going to put this on your journal and see what I say about you?
16. what is the strongest memory you have of me?

Serenity Now!

2004-09-16T16:32:32Z

Well, I'm not feeling so angry now...I had my meeting with The Manic and he was just sweet as pie. "You're one of the best music directors in the business, but..." Uh, yeah. I calmly expressed my anger at his comment about the faire, and he kind of apologized, but not really. Guess I'll keep plugging along...for now. Melinda asked why I didn't lay into him...Uh, because it's me. I might think, "Who the f do you think you are?", but I'll say, "I am not happy with you right now." Yeah. I'm going to go to the gym and try and work out my frustration.

I have to finish packing tonight...I bought a big plastic tote to keep all my stuff together in one place yesterday. A handmaiden's job ain't as easy as it seems. By the way, does anyone know where I can get gold wrapped chocolate coins? I thought it would cute to bribe kids with them while we were in the viking encampment..."Halfling, would you please take this gold coin and give a message to Sir Kay: Lady Guen and I have been captured?" If I can't find them, I can use gold wrapped hershey kisses and just give out gold "pieces".

You're Gonna Need A Bigger Boat...

2004-09-16T13:43:21Z

Today I feel like Richard Dreyfuss in the pivotal scene in Jaws when Hooper and Chief Brody are trying to convince Mayor Vaughn that a great white shark has taken residence off the coast of Amity Island. The Mayor tells them, "I don't think either one of you are familiar with our problems." Hooper replies, I think that I am familiar with the fact that you are going to avoid this particular problem until it swims up and bites you on the ass!". I am frustrated and aggitated...and just plain pissed off. It's a rare occurrence, but it happens.

Much like my day yesterday, today started with another nasty email from The Manic about a music issue that he has "repeatedly addressed", (his new favorite phrase), that I'm not doing the duties described in my job description, and he has no choice but to put a warning in my file and copy his letter to our general manager. The thing that threw me over the edge was the last comment: "I'm wondering if your weekend drama commitments are causing you to rush and lose focus. We can discuss in in our meeting..."

Firstly, I am not paid nearly enough to be on call 24/7. Though I understand that I do not work a 9 to 5 job, and I am expected to do more than my share of tasks, (including TWO airshifts and music), he has no right to dictate what I can and cannot do in my personal time. It's mine. (My thing used to be my own, but now that I'm seeing someone special, time is the only thing I have that's mine. LOL) Thirdly, because I am single, are my weekend activities any less important than say another's son's soccer game or daughter's ballet recital? Because I don't have to rush home to get my kids off the bus do I have to stay an extra hour to cover for someone else? I apologize. I'm not bashing parents. I love kids. I'm digressing from my original rant. I'm just trying to...Ug. Grrr...

I'm definitely going to need a bigger boat.

Two serious emails in two days. JT, pass the tissues...

Go Team Go!

2004-09-15T13:12:23Z

"I know this is the part of your job you hate the most...And you suck at it." Okay. Not his exact words, but that's what it felt like coming from the most manic person I've ever met. He's crazy. Literally needs to be medicated. And when the crazy starts creeping into my dance space, that's trouble. It's one of the many run-ins of late. He's a great radio guy, but horrible manager. Horrible. I suspect he's getting pressure from the suits, and the fallout is giving the rest of us the plague. I'm trying not to be defensive about it, but my little evil voice is telling me to start looking...I don't want to. I love Portland, but holy smokes, I'm not a machine! My career, as much as I enjoy it, is not my whole life. I've worked really hard and made lots of sacrifices to get here, but for what? "Celebrity" is synonymous for "prison". Like John Mayer, I just want to run through the halls of my high school and scream at the top of my lungs.

I have a recording appointment today for a playhouse presenting "Lion In Winter". The director heard me speaking in accent about the faire and requested me to co-voice the commercial spot with her British hubby. That's cool.

Gods, I need a piece of chocolate...

"Tell me more, tell me more, like does he have a car?"

2004-09-14T18:32:13Z

Just got back from lunch with Melinda, Layna, and Nancy. Much like the "Summer Nights" inquisition in Grease, they asked me a million and one questions about B. I knew the answers to some, but not all. Of course, like my mother, they wanted to know the all important answer to the question: When will it be finalized? Good question. Alas, I have no answer. I try not to ask too many questions like that because I know he'll tell me when he's ready.

I should have gone with the Thai chicken salad vs. the Cubano. I always get the Cubano. Damn my latino heritage!

Soccer Moms, Tootsie Pops, and Trick or Treats

2004-09-14T15:00:44Z

It was forty-nine degrees to start my day today. Forty-nine. And so it begins...

The concept of having a boyfriend is so foreign to me that I find myself staring into space reflecting on this new and exciting addition to my life as if I were formulating a plan for world peace...or solving the age old question: How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop? I used to be 30 and flirty! No I'm unfocused and giggly and what JT calls "twitter-pated". If that means I smile all the time, get warm fuzzies in my tummy when I think about him, look forward to hearing his voice on the phone after emailing each other all day, and rush into work in the morning to see if he's sent me an email even though we've spent hours on the phone the night before...Ug. I am twitter-pated. I'm like a heroine in a Disney flick..."I know you, I walked with you once upon a dream..."

My friends used to joke about finding my knight in shining armor. Ironic that I'd find him at the Renaissance Faire. (Like that ever happens in real life. How kooky.) Technically, he's not even a knight. But he carries a sword and that's hot. Of course he gets killed several times a day, but it's still hot. This weekend, the fight team was working the joust brawl and B got smacked in the face with a Viking shield. I played it cool, but inside I jumped out of my skin. "Ack! My baby!" If I was one of those crazy girlfriends, (or a soccer mom), I would have raced across the joust field, knocked Sir Ironsides to the ground, and poured over Brian with Bactine and a band-aid. And a kiss to make it better. And maybe a cookie. But, being a good girlfriend, I didn't want to embarrass him in front of the other Viking crunchies, so I sat on the bleachers very non-chalant, and waited for him to come over. I gave him a hug and asked if he was okay. He was. I still should've given him a cookie.

Saturday night was fun. Had I known it would be the last Minion gathering at Dan's, I would have sprung for some champagne or those little hot dogs wrapped in pastry. Most of the gang will spend our free hours this weekend at MJ except JT and Merl. They are spending the evening with Howard Shore in Hartford to experience the most excellent soundtrack of Lord Of The Rings. I'm sad that we, The Minions, won't be together, but it will give me a few extra moments with Brian. Once the faire opens on the 25th, he'll be in Evil Owner mode and I'll be talking smack with the knights and making sure Guen's hair extensions don't fall out.

Tonight I'm not taking any office work home. My plan is to put together my secondary cloak with the fleece lining and, tsk, relax. (Hahahahahahahaha! What's that?? I don't know anymore.) The boss came in today and ripped off a bunch of dates for upcoming appearances for me and the boys. Now that faire is coming to a close, I'm back in the rotation. I was told I had to host some kind of wacky Sadie Hawkins dance on October 30...Yes. Instead of dressing up with the pals and toasting the Halloween holiday weekend, I'll be with a bunch of rednecks at Harmony Hall trying to avoid Billy Bob's advances and over-zealous prize pigs complaining that I didn't bring any bling bling to share with the masses. (sigh) Welcome to my world.

Product Placement and Cute Shoes

2004-09-09T19:03:53Z

Melinda and I are booking our trip to Ireland in mere minutes. The thought of spending a big chunk of money on something so frivolous is both terrifying and exhilarating. I mean, I deserve it, but that's a big chunk of money. She thinks we should get part-time jobs at LL Bean for spending money. I hate Beans. Long story short, I was scheduled for an appearance there last year during a hunting expo and they opted to go with one of the guys instead...Literally said, "We don't think a woman can promote this event. A woman talking about hunting and fishing lacks credibility." Okay. It took all I had not to get on the phone to every women's sporting club in New England. If not for the huge amount of money they spend advertising with my company, I would have set up a huge protest. (I always wanted to protest something in college. The closest I came was senior year when the cops tried to shut down the naked relays. I started a chant in the unruly crowd, but my friends got scared we would be arrested and pulled me away before the riot ensued.) If they had done a little research, they'd have known that I grew up with a deer skin on my wall. I helped Dad refill shotgun shells with a press at the kitchen table. Helped him clean his wild game after a big hunt. I know the difference between a recurve and compound bow. The difference between a shotgun and black powder. Idiots.

Wow. Didn't realize I was still angry about that. Joe, my co-host, says I need to let it go. Yuppies. (Everyone knows that real hunters shop at Cabellas anyway.) Not that I would discourage anyone else from shopping there. They make quality merchandise that lots of others enjoy. I just can't.

I was telling one of my record pals about B. This new adventure of mine is really scary. I mean, I had always hoped I'd meet a nice guy and it would be romantic and very made for tv movie-esque..."All's Faire in Love" Tuesday night at 8 on Lifetime, the network for women! But after awhile, reality set in and I thought to myself, "Self, you watch too many damn romantic comedies. Curses to Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan!". Then...Boom. Here he is right in front of me. It's just like a movie and all I can think is, "Is this really happening or is it just a dream?" Common sense would say run away...fast! It's too good to be true! My heart says to lose the cross trainers and take my chances.

I think this one time I'm going to paint my toes pink, put on some cute sandals, put that fear behind me, and let my heart lead the way.

Saturday in the Park...

2004-09-08T15:10:04Z

I'm feeling a bit better after such kind words from Kris and B and The Kilt. I'm lucky to have cool supportive friends that care about me. I'm sure I'm worried about nothing.

Chicago and Earth, Wind, and Fire are coming to the Civic Center the weekend before my birthday! Yay! Ethan is going to try and get me tix for the show. I was so disappointed that I missed seeing Chicago this summer...It was the first time in 10 years I've missed them. Fate is kind. She knew my karma would be ruined for the next year if I didn't get to hear "Saturday In The Park" live. Haha! PS This new Jill Sobule song is way cool! She samples the song. Cool hip vibe about waiting for the battle of the bands and getting into trouble in the back of a van...Oooo. Bad girl!

I have to finish hemming my cloak tonight so I don't trip and fall when I'm captured by the vikings. I may sew the other as well...The warm one with the fleece lining. It depends on my machine and if she's in a good mood. She has good and bad days, too.

Got some pictures back yesterday from practice and the RF concert with Fawn and JT and Merl. I'd forgotten that bad_gustav took some at the block party. There was one of my B talking to a patron. She, F, was in it, too. Kind of weird. Not bad weird, just...weird. I'm glad I'm getting the chance to know him. He's making my life better everyday.

daiseejane @ 2004-09-08T04:58:00

2004-09-08T09:26:38Z

I didn't sleep well last night. It was one of those days where I had 20 things going on in my head at once and they just hit me like a sledgehammer. Work, family, faire, friends...

I am so proud of all my castmates and how far they've come since our journey together began. But now in the final hour, I'm looking at my own character thinking, hmmm...What's special about her? The other handmaiden is over the top and wacky and spends her time running away from her princess. I like mine, so what's the fun in that. (Present conflict, hilarity ensues.) Guen has her fantastic moments in court, the Ironsides sisters have each other, and having only been in the Shire for a few days, I "don't know" anyone else. I'm just kind of there holding a title. (And a basket minus the cool retractable iron spikes.) If Honor were an action figure, she'd be the only one left on the shelf after all the Arthur's and Guen's and Merlin's were sold out. Kid's would come into Toys-R-Us and leave disappointed because all they had left was the boring old handmaiden what's her name. (sigh) I think fate had bigger plans for me in CT than as an actor...At least that's what I keep trying to tell myself.

Could someone so wonderful really be happening...to me??

2004-09-06T15:11:39Z

I made it to work on time this morning. Fawn and I didn't leave Southbridge till about 1am. I did get a short nap in before we left, but I'm realizing that staying up way too late for the last two weeks and on the weekends has caught up with me. I know it's irresponsible, but someone wonderful has popped into my life unexpectedly, and to waste even a moment together for something as trivial as sleep seems horrible! This week I'm going to make an effort to manage my time better...Brian and I are getting to know each other better every day, and since we only get to spend a little bit of time in the same state, I want to surround myself with his smile, his eyes, his laugh...Not fall asleep on his shoulder on Dan's lawn! (Although that's pretty cozy, too!)

Rehearsal seems to be going well. The "exception" was even pleasant to talk to. We're all making an effort to get along. I really want to like her, so I'm going to be nice and maybe in the end we'll be friends, or at least friendly aquaintances. Magpie is going to be the break-out character of the faire. She is so funny she had my crying yesterday during her patron interaction. I'm still trying to come up with some ideas...I have a few, and Honor seems to have found her place. I guess I won't know till I actually get out there and interact. I was afraid I was losing my accent...I find myself gravitating towards the country folk. (They are all so good at it!) I'll have to watch some British films. Good excuse to get out the Rickman collection. :-)

Another night of prop building at Dan's...It was the first time I had a full crew and didn't have enough projects to work on! Ack! But we did finish a few things and I have a feeling we'll be a bit more prepared next weekend. The Kilt made an appearance three days in a row. He's cool. Rock star cool. Fawn and I met a bunch of Brian's friends on Sunday at the house. What a great group of people. All super nice and funny and genuine. I have a feeling I'll be seeing a lot of them again at faire. Paulie is adorable. I feel like I should bake him cookies or something. Haha!

Brian. (sigh) So much I want to say but have to hold back because of these crazy "taking it slow" rules. Grrr. >:-(

Screw it. It's absurb, but true...He feels like home to me.

In a land far far away...

2004-09-02T18:36:49Z

...someone I really care about is feeling sad and frustrated and mad...and I'm here. I wish I could be everywhere at once, but for now, it's just here. Away. Fawn misses the hubby and hates the roomies, JT is back in school dealing with the kids, Kris has no stove. Ug! We all need a group hug this weekend. And we forgot about The Woodstock Faire. Knowing we'll have to deal with the traffic in and out of the park...Blech! We'll just have to pitch a tent by the lake and cook hotdogs on little sticks. I'll bring the mustard!

B was a little sad yesterday. The girls don't live with him anymore and he misses them. That makes me sad, too. I know it's not the same, but moving to Maine and leaving my nephew and neice was the hardest thing I ever had to do. I only get to see my babies a few times a year now and when I do, jeez, it seems like they've become whole new people. Ashley is walking and talking (And accessorizing! At 2 she already has the coolest purses!) and JJ...I can't believe he'll be 5 in October. My little boy is quickly becoming a little man. I wish they were closer.

I'm really looking forward to seeing B this weekend. When I do, it's quite possible that I could spontaneously combust much like that of the Spinal Tap drummers. The anticipation of simply standing next to him is enough to make my skin tingle all over. I'm sorry, it's gross, I know. I used to make gagging noises when people told me things like this. I, "flirty and 30, single, fabulous and loving it!", have been reduced to a blushing gushing disgusting 13 year old. It's absurd! We talk on the phone for hours and the first thing I do when I come to work is look to see if he's written to me...then continue to refresh the homepage to see if he's logged in. This is not normal. It's obsessive and ridiculous and wonderful and sweet and...Gads I'm a mess.

daiseejane @ 2004-08-31T13:41:00

2004-08-31T18:07:55Z

bad_gustav had some interesting things to say in his journal post yesterday. It made me wonder if I've been giving the faire as much as I can. There have been a few occasions when I've wanted to be more vocal. After all, with almost 20 years of theater experience under my belt, I've learned a thing or two about dealing with people and personalities. (Yes, there is a difference.) But as a newcomer, it's not really my place...or is it? With few exceptions, this cast is fabulous. There have been several times that I've gotten so caught up in their characters, I've forgotten that I'm supposed to be in character myself! It's been satisfying to watch the change in some of our quieter cast members as they've found themselves and gotten more comfortable in front of us. It's one of the things I miss the most about directing in PA. I'm not a parent, but I suppose it's the similar feeling you get watching your kids grow up and discover who they are. It makes me so proud to think how far many of us have come in such a few short weeks. And I'm guessing those "few exceptions" will eventually weed themselves out.

I talked to B for a long time last night. Melinda asked me what we could possibly talk about for so long every night. (Everything, duh.) There's something very special about him. Very special. Really. I've never felt like this before and it's terrifying...But at the same time, I'm not scared at all. I've been asking friends all day if this is normal or if I should go to the emergency room. Breathe...breathe...breathe...Does anyone have a paper bag??

Thanks, Faith!

2004-08-30T13:33:41Z

Firstly, to my evil minions: I love you all so much. I feel blessed that you are in my life.

So much to catch up on after the long weekend! Friday night, Fawn, JT, and Merl joined me at the Rascal Flatts show in Mansfield. I was right: Gary was sweet, Joe Don was aloof (but very flirty with Fawn), and Jay...ug. Someone get that man a puppy! We had a good time. Left the show early, ate chinese food and watched the renaissance episode of The Family Guy.

Saturday couldn't come fast enough, though when it finally arrived...Oh my goodness, the thought of seeing B had my stomach in knots! Fawn and I arrived at rehearsal with seconds to spare, and all I could do was give him a quick glance before he left to check in on the MJ kids. I was a little sad, but we had lots to accomplish with the cast, so we dove into the court show, did some singing, and before I knew it, the day was over and we headed to Dan's for props. (Seriously, I don't think these props will ever be finished.) John Bedivere and I painted the "death cart". He got green paint on me! It still needs at least one more coat before we do the detailing. (If the weather is nice, I'll go down Friday afternoon and finish the bigger paint projects so we can do the detailing with my staff on Saturday. Oh, uh, hey Dan...If the weather is nice, I'm coming over on Saturday to paint. Surprise! haha!)

"Kilt Boy" came over, too. We've been chatting online, but it was the first time we met in person. He's funny, (and a little crazy), but he likes the James Gang, so I think I'll keep him around. Anyone who can appreciate the instrumentation behind "Funk #48" has got to be cool. B thinks The Kilt wants to be one of my evil minions. I'll have to consult my council of advisors and slip him an application. After all, he does amuse me...and he can teach me to throw daggers and axes. I love throwing axes.

After the painting, and pizza, and larp chat, and "jeez...are they leaving soon? (nudge, wink)" hee hee, B and I had our "first date". It was too late for ice cream, but we did go on our walk. We talked and (gasp!) he held my hand. While we were walking, we hit a little patch of the road drenched in a moonbeam. It happened. Cue the music! Our first kiss as Faith Hill blared on the jukebox in my head, "This Kiss". It was so romantic. (I'm getting flip floppy butterflies just thinking about it.) Anything after that is off limits, people. A girl's gotta keep some things for herself.

More practice on Sunday...B really surprised me when he came over, took my face in his hands and kissed me...Yeah, in front of everyone! For the love of Briton! We had talked about people's perceptions about us and how scary that might be, but a "mutual admiration" does funny things to people. It makes you smile and giggle and do crazy things and stop being afraid. It's a nice feeling. Very nice indeed.

Practice was okay. The minions always pow pow afterwards for a debriefing. Two weeks before dress and we're totally freaked out. I know I don't feel even close to being ready. (I'm glad I'm not alone.) And of course there's that...person. Very negative and critical of others. All I can think is, don't throw stones when you live in a glass house, lady. I'm not a violent person, but there were a few times I thought I might have to get up in her face and shut her down. I feel sorry for her. She doesn't seem to have any friends and she certainly isn't making any attempt to make new ones. I realize that I'm new here, but don't show up once in the last few months when the rest of my minions have been here every weekend working their butts off criticizing their work because it isn't up to your standards. Hey, here's an idea, pick an accent...one accent...and keep it up for an entire scene. I'm so sorry. It's not like me to be so catty. Honor, yes. Me, not so much. I always try to find the good in people, and normally if I come across someone this negative, I'd ignore them, but nobody puts my minions in a corner!

Whew! I feel better now. I will try and give her another chance, but if she says anything else about my Fawn, forget it. I mean, I gave Fawn a little constructive criticism this weekend and afterward I felt bad. No, I'm not the director, and it's not necessarily my place, but you know what, I did it because I want my girl to rock! I want her to be the best Guen and I know she's gonna be great and make us all really proud. Sniff, sniff. My baby.

Thanks for letting me vent for a few...I feel much better now. Oh, and B asked me on a second date. Life is very very good.